November 4th, 2010

A pair of amateur Greek terrorists were arrested on Monday after mailing a round of small, primitive and easily detected letter bombs. The only professional touch to their groupuscule was the terrific name (above). The bad-taste video game is no doubt in the works, but I doubt if the inventors can claim the rights from prison.

Messrs. Tsakalos and Argyrou are understandably upset about the brutal austerity programme imposed by the EU and the bond market as a condition for bailing out Greece (or more accurately, Greece´s bondholders). So they, less understandably, mailed bombs to:

  • Angela Merkel
  • Nicolas Sarkozy
  • ¨the embassies of Bulgaria, Russia, Germany, Switzerland, Mexico, Chile, the Netherlands and Belgium.¨

Merkel was the bad cop on the Greek bailout, so you can follow the thinking. Sarkozy played good cop, but with his usual shallow opportunism, and joined Merkel in the end. Belgium supports everything the EU does and Zurich banks are, as is well known, staffed by evil gnomes. But what have Bulgaria, Mexico and Chile done recently to the hapless Greeks?

The mailboxes of the following appear to have been left undisturbed:

  • the previous Greek Prime Minister, Finance Minister, head of the Central Bank, and head of the tax collection service,
  • the national statistical office of Greece, who cooked the books to order, and Eurostat, who failed to notice for years;
  • the ECB and the inventors of the Euro and Stability Pact;
  • Moody´s, S &P, and Fitch – the corrupt and/or incompetent rating agencies;
  • Goldman Sachs and other investment banks who advised Greece on how to game the system.

In other words, the poor saps had no idea who was really responsible for the mess their country is in and just lashed out blindly at friends, foes and innocent bystanders.

Just like American electors.

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12 Responses to “The Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire”

  1. Wonks Anonymous says:

    Perhaps the Greeks & Americans should look in a mirror when deciding who is to blame.

  2. Basilisc says:

    Of course, it’s well known that all terrorists are Muslims. So the Greek bombers must have been Muslims.

  3. Dr. Buzzsaw says:

    Basilisc: Then why mail bombs to France? They hate US for our freedom and the French don’t have freedom.

  4. Mrs Tilton says:

    One hesitates to make light of a despicable act that might easily have been far worse than it was. Still, I have to agree with James. However evil and stupid the perps might be, “Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire” is, as a name, pretty feckin peerless. Indeed, it just might be good enough to pass the Dave Barry WBAGNFARB test.

  5. Brett Bellmore says:

    “Just like American electors.”

    You mean, aside from the technical difference between voting somebody out of office, and attempting to murder them?

  6. Andrew says:

    Brett Bellmore: The parallel drawn was between the level of knowledge and the ability to focus blame correctly, not the actions undertaken as a result of this ignorance.

  7. Warren Terra says:

    @ Dr. Buzzsaw

    Basilisc: Then why mail bombs to France? They hate US for our freedom and the French don’t have freedom.

    Maybe they’ve been reading – and, worse, taking seriously – all those screeds by American wingers about how France is being subsumed into the Caliphate?

  8. Warren Terra says:

    er, no, it’s the terrorists who are automatically and presumptively Muslim. So my comment doesn’t even work as a poor attempt at grim humor; it’s backwards. Maybe they’re just upset that the American winger screeds are wrong?

  9. “The parallel drawn was between the level of knowledge and the ability to focus blame correctly….”

    And explicitly so, even.

  10. Anonyme says:

    many of you say whatever they like without understanding that not all of the greek people are blamed for the incidence and cant be blamed because 5 persons want to kill and send bombs etc ..
    Many countries had those type of problems but it is tragic to blame the whole nation for actions of some idiots
    they do not represent the whole country


  11. nermin says:


  12. Anonyme
    I did not blame Greeks collectively for the bombs. According the press, the COTCOF consisted of two young men.