I have it from a highly reliable source – the horse’s mouth, actually – that Rafalca threw the Olympics individual dressage event
in order to spare Mitt Romney the embarrassment of the inevitable phone
call of congratulations from Barack Obama to Ann Romney as
representative of the gold medallist. (According to the same source, Rafalca’s personal iPhone was taken away after she developed an addiction to Super Mario and a long list of contacts with straw men in the Cayman Islands.)
Governor, will you confirm or deny this serious allegation? Bloggers and horses everywhere demand to know.
For more vital Olympics questions, see Conservapedia here. Sample: “Will atheist
nations underachieve in team sports / in general?” Answer: yes, by
vigorous special pleading against China and France. For Heaven’s sake,
the whole Olympics are a pagan cult. The show jumping included jumps
shaped like moons and Stonehenge, ’nuff said.